We All Want Love

With the news of Brangelina splitting up and a pastor who anoints ring fingers the institution of marriage has been put under the microscope this week. Are we better off staying single or dating or should we pursue marriage?

Happily Never After

It’s a bad day for Brangelina shippers everywhere, our favourite couple is over! For the longest time, I believed that Brad and Angelina were married. So hearing that Brad proposed in 2014 I thought “finally!” and “wait they were still dating?” I idolized their relationship.

Brad and Angelina were like a beacon of hope; a sign that relationships work and happiness is never too far out of reach. Their relationship made me love the idea of love and made me want to pursue it.

This is in total contrast to the horror shows that I saw on the Crime and Investigation channel that made me want to lock myself away in isolation and avoid people altogether.

Why We Hate Divorce So Much 

Jolie filed for divorce on Monday and is also seeking sole physical custody of her children

If our star couple can end up divorced then what of the rest of us? That’s what a lot of people seem to think. Theirs is one of many divorce cases. Divorce has apparently been on the rise making people wonder if marriage still has the same social standing or value that it used to. I’m tired of hearing this.

There isn’t really any difference from the way married people felt years ago. The laws were stricter so people couldn’t escape an unhappy marriage even if they wanted to.  Today if you’re not comfortable being married to someone you can end the marriage.

The laws might have been relaxed but the attitude towards divorce is still very harsh. Divorce is seen as a failure because marriage is seen as an achievement.

Why should someone stay with a partner they’re not happy with just to prove that they made it? I say good for her. She found what she feels is the best possible solution to whatever was bothering her.

Marriage is an abstract idea. The notion of “joining two souls”. People are different from each other. Even dreaming of ever agreeing on absolutely everything is ridiculous.

In the same way that no two people are the same; no two marriages are the same. People don’t divorce their partners for the same reason that someone else would.

Maybe this isn’t a very progressive idea for a woman to have but I believe in marriage and I would love to be married someday. I want somebody I can share my life with, but at the same time, I’m not in a rush to do get married.

Yes, I’m upset that they won’t be together but I still love them so I wish them all the best in the world. I don’t fault them for anything because as much as I believe in marriage I understand that not everything works out the way we want it to.

Love Don’t Cost a Thing 

A poster inviting women to have their ring fingers anointed. Photo by: enca.com/

Even though I would love to be joined in holy matrimony with the love of my life, I’m in no rush to do so and I’m not desperate for love. I wouldn’t pay for it either. Some women have paid up to R5000 to have their ring fingers “anointed” with oil by Pastor Alph Lukau in a bid to find a husband who will arrive in 90 days. I don’t know about you but I’d rather die alone than go without food for the next month and a half.

The saddest thing about this is how symbolic it is of the fact that many women still feel pressured to get married. What else would drive a woman to pay to for love?

I’m only nineteen but I’ve already decided that I wouldn’t mind being without a husband. I would never settle for a relationship with someone I’m not completely happy with just for the sake of it. Which makes me wonder, are these women truly willing to spend the rest of their lives with someone they’ve only known for three months? And because this proposal will happen within the next three months, are they willing to marry someone they might have known for a few days?

We all know what happens after three months, even Kim Kardashian knows it can happen after 72 hours. You end up in the same position that Brangelina is in right now. Speaking of Kim I hope her marriage to Kanye West survives.

Obviously, these women don’t watch the Crime and Investigation Channel because if they did they’d know not to get married to someone after three months. He could be a pedophile or a serial killer. Does this pastor promise of happiness, longevity or even safety will come with this marriage proposal?

I think it’s clear that our lives shouldn’t follow a defined pattern of “go to school, get a job, get married, raise a family and die.” You could end up divorced for whatever reason and decide not to remarry. You could decide to not get married at all. You and your partner could decide to have a commitment ceremony without getting married.

Angelina could decide not to re-marry because she’s happy with just spending time with her kids I think that’s beautiful. I also want to be a mom one day so right now I can only imagine how taking care of her family is like food for her soul.
You should be happy with the course of your own life, the things you’ve done and the people you’ve met. There’s no need for us to be identical grey blobs. Remember what you learned in pre-school “everyone is special”. Accept that people are different and embrace your personal journey.

About Xiletelo Mabasa 21 Articles
Xiletelo Mabasa is a passionate young journalist who describes herself as a “great ball of happiness” and her greatest shortfall is her love for all things ranging from politics to fashion. She is currently enrolled as an Honours student at the School of Journalism and Media Studies at Rhodes University. In between her studies, Xiletelo works as the Entertainment Editor and Social Media Manager for The Open Journal. After completing her studies she would like to pursue her Masters in Journalism. A lover of all things digital (but mostly Twitter) she also hopes to venture into both broadcast and print media and is excited to see which will come first. She is currently working on making her mark in the blogosphere.

25 Comments Posted

  1. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% certain. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kudos

    • Hi there, glad you love the site. It’s actually very cheap and accessible. Open a wordpress account and start with the free account then when you’re ready you can pay a small annual fee. It’s really not that bad. We promise you won’t break the bank.

  2. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts on this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i’m happy to show that I’ve a very excellent uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I so much unquestionably will make sure to don?t fail to remember this site and give it a glance regularly.

    • Hi there, we’re so glad you love the site. Keep up with us by subscribing to our mailing list.

    • Hi there, we’re glad you loved the article you can follow the journalist who wrote the article on twitter and send her a tweet and chat with her. Her twitter handle is in our about section.

  3. It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I’ve learn this submit and if I may I wish to counsel you few interesting issues or advice. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read even more things about it!

  4. Hey! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job!

  5. Great article! That is the type of info that are meant to be shared across the net. Shame on the search engines for no longer positioning this submit higher! Come on over and consult with my site . Thanks =)

  6. I’m pretty pleased to find this site. I want to to thank you for ones time for this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every bit of it and I have you book marked to look at new stuff on your site.

  7. Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good web hosting provider at a fair price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!

  8. I am now not positive where you are getting your information, however great topic. I must spend a while finding out more or understanding more. Thank you for magnificent info I was looking for this information for my mission.

    • Hi there glad you like our use of information. We are actually a news platform for students and this was an opinion piece written by one of our journalists. If you would like to read some of her more journalistic articles just click on the byline.

    • Hi there glad you like our use of information. We are actually a news platform for students and this was an opinion piece written by one of our journalists. If you would like to read some of her more journalistic articles just click on the byline.

  9. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content in your case? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome web site!

    • Hi there, we’re glad you love our news site. We will forward your request to our managing editor but in the meantime sit tight and enjoy reading.

  10. First of all I would like to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing. I have had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out. I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or tips? Many thanks!

    • Hey there, thanks for visiting our site we’re glad you love the article. Please send an email to the journalist who wrote the article her email address is xiletelomabasa@gmail.com you can also tweet her @SHEleteloMabasa.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.